Narc Repellent, Part One: Do Your Research

As a young person raised in a small-town narc nest, who recently moved to a large city, I've been looking for ways to filter narcissists out of my life so my next relationships don't end up like my last. Through trial and error (which I'll detail in upcoming blog posts), I've learned that online reviews are a narcissist's worst nightmare besides prison, and one of your best defenses against getting screwed. 

It's important to do your own research, and I don't mean that in a tinfoil-hat kind of way. Real conspiracies tend to be far less enthralling than those portrayed in the media, but they can cause catastrophic damage nonetheless. And in the age of the Internet, there's no excuse to walk into a place of business uninformed. I recommend Google Maps as a place to start. 

First, look at the business's overall rating—is it high, low, or somewhere in between? How many ratings are there? The more ratings, and the more recent they are, the more reliable the data. And how are the ratings distributed? Averages don't tell you everything. A business with 100% 3-star ratings may have a solid reputation. A business with 50% 1-star and 50% 5-star ratings warrants more scrutiny. 

Look for potential bias. Positive ratings can be bought, or worse. I know of an urgent-care doctor who took advantage of her patients' desperation, pressuring them to give five-star reviews and even telling them what to write in the middle of a procedure. This accusation, levied by several former patients, was corroborated by the positive reviews having similar grammatical errors and containing many of the same distinct keywords. 

Also, sort for negative comments and give them particular notice. Look for clients consistently reporting the same grievances, especially if those complaints are recent and/or unresolved. And, as a general rule, specific complaints are more relevant than vague ones. "The front desk staff were rude" is up for interpretation; "the front desk staff cursed me out" is not. 

Finally, note the business's response to criticism. Commenting tactfully on a public forum may seem like a no-brainer, especially when your success rides on public image, but I've seen shady business owners with the audacity to insult, gaslight, and blame their reviewers. Yes, con artists can be clever, but they're not Marvel supervillains. More often than not, basic critical thinking skills are all you need to avoid the everyday narcissists who cross your path.